Back on the Blog!

Greetings one and all.  I haven't blogged for a while and I'm feelin' the itch!  Actually I haven't done much because I've had a bad back for the past few weeks.  It was hell!  I had no control over my right leg and I was walking like the "silly walk sketch" from Monty Python's Flying Circus.  Luckily I had an epidural injection that seems to be working.  I am no longer walking funny which is a plus.  When you start walking funny, people react in strange ways.  Some feel sorry for you.  Some wonder what is wrong with you.  In my case women and small children run screaming in the opposite direction.  Maybe I was walking a little TOO funny!

I need to mention the Oakland Raiders STUNNING defeat of the Denver Broncos last Sunday.  I've been a Raiders fan since I was an elementary school student in Bakersfield, California.  Our school team was the Raiders and I guess that's when I jumped on the bandwagon.  Anyway...holy crap!  59-14?  Did I read that correctly?  I wonder what the bronco players thought when they looked up and saw their fans evacuating the stadium in droves!  I'm sure the Raiders won't score 59 points for the rest of the season, but it was satisfying to watch the beat down.  The Broncos have officially become a rented mule!

Medical Update

I know you are all dying to know which of my body parts has decided to go out on me.  It's my back this time.  I'm limping around like a man twice my age...and yes I mean like a 104 year old.  The only difference between me and a 104 year old is I am not as sharp mentally.  Anyway, I have a slipped disc which is causing me untold amounts of pain.  You know that little chart in the doctor's office that defines pain?  The one where it goes from a yellow smiley face to a red face that looks like it might explode.  Well I look just like the exploding head.  I could go off at any moment.  BOOM!  I guess they are going to give me a shot in the back that will make me feel like I'm 25 again.  I can hardly wait to find out which part is going to go bad next.  I'll bet my warranty has run out too.

By the way Jack had a great birthday yesterday.  I bought him a new flying squirrel toy and he went nuts!  He also had ice cream.  It doesn't suck to be him.

It's Jack's Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my beautiful Golden Retriever Jack.  He is quite simply my best buddy in the whole world.  Oh sure he ignores me when I call him to come in, and he often thinks that it is HE and not ME who is leader of the pack, but he loves me unconditionally and I am crazy about him.  I told my wife, when we were dating, that the only real criteria for her was that Jack had to like her and she had to like him.  She has learned to ignore the massive amounts of hair that we vacuum up weekly, and the giant dog poop in the back yard, and we are now one big happy family.  Jack even has learned to like his "step-puppies" JJ and Jewels.  Jack is 8 years old today and they say that is a doggie senior citizen.  I'm pretty sure that he will live to be 20.  Here's to another 12 years buddy.

Biggest Loser

It was an exciting episode of Biggest Loser last night!  By my count, we reached a new crying record.  I counted 64.3 crying incidents per hour...some of it full fledged sobbing.  There was also lots of yelling and grunting.  Why do I watch this every week?  Simple...it makes me feel skinny.  Period.  I'm going to have another Butterfinger before I go on the air today and I don't have to worry about a weigh in.

If there is another human soul who is actually taking the time to read this drivel...please let me know.  I'd hate to think I am pouring out my soul...especially about the Biggest Loser...and nobody is there.  That is exactly how people gain weight.  They blog and nobody reads.  Oh geez...I feel a crying jag coming on.

Crickets. 

I'm Falling Apart!!

Two years ago, when I turned 50, I was in the best shape of my life.  I was working out like a fiend.  I lifted weights and went to spinning classes.  I did the abs class after spinning, and sometimes, in the right light, I could actually see a six pack! I don't mind telling you I was BUFF!

Something dreadfully wrong has happened in the last two years.  Lately my body seems to be systematically revolting against me, one part at a time.  I can't read ANYTHING now without my glasses.  My knee, hip, and back are killing me.  I'm limping around like a man 30 years older.  IT SUCKS!  The constant pain is making it hard to enjoy the things I love...like fast food, Leave it to Beaver Marathons, old rock and roll, and puppies.  Seriously, when you get to the point where you can't enjoy puppies it might be time to pack it in.

After making a desperate plea to my orthopedic surgeon to get me in as soon as possible I was able to get an appointment tomorrow at 9AM.  I'm going to suggest they just take the whole leg and replace it with a wooden peg.  I've always wanted to walk around with a wooden leg while the parrot on my shoulder says embarrassing things to people on the street.  Perhaps my dream will come true.

All I know is this getting old crap isn't for sissies!

Raiders Win!!

Good Morning!

I didn't know what I was going to write about today, and then the Oakland Raiders gave me a great topic after they destroyed the Chargers yesterday, breaking San Diego's 13 game winning streak.  People often laugh at me when they find out I'm a Raiders fan.  I admit it has been tough the past few years, and I'm sure we're not out of the woods yet, but a win over the Chargers is HUGE!  Now if we can only beat the Donkey's...I mean Broncos...two games this year, it will be a successful year.

If you are reading this to find out what I did over the weekend...here it is in a nutshell...I DID NOTHING! What did you do?

Happy Birthday John!

Tomorrow is John Lennon's birthday.  I'm wearing my Beatles t-shirt, that I bought in Las Vegas at the "Beatles Love" store at the Mirage.  All afternoon I'll be taking requests so if you have a favorite Beatles or John Lennon song, give me a call at 245-9700 and I'll play it for you.  It's just a small way to celebrate the life of such an influential person.

For those of you who are interested in knowing, I had lunch today with my old K-Bear morning show partner Jay.  Jay sends his love to you all.  I had a BBQ bacon burger while I believe Jay had some sort of chicken salad.  It was nice to see my old buddy.  We've been through a lot.  I still remember the time that Jay mooned me when I was introducing a band onstage downtown one night.  Sometimes, just before the sun rises as I'm halfway between sleep and waking, I can still see that bright white moon staring me in the face.  Oh the horror!

Ok...enough chit chat.  Time to prepare some Lennon tunes for the show.

Later!

Outlaws and Stuff

What a drag that the Billings Outlaws had to disband.  It all seems to stem from one big miscommunication, or so the County Commissioners say.  Adam Steadman, co-owner of the Outlaws, was on air with Livin Large Larry this morning.  He is obviously stunned.  So are the fans.  Adam has the video tape of the meeting with County Commissioners where he says he can prove what was really said.  I guess you can't dispute video.  Just ask Paris Hilton.  I feel that the county commissioners have done a disservice to the community for letting the Outlaws die.  It was nice to have a championship caliber team here in Billings and it would have been something to look forward in the renovated Metra.  I would have cut them some slack and tried to keep them, considering they are ultimately a victim of the Tornado from Hell, but what do I know?  I wasn't at the meeting so I can't say for sure what happened. 

Actually I have been to many meetings where I leave not knowing what just happened.  One time I was at a meeting where the boss said the company was going through some "growing pains".  For some reason I thought he said he was having "groin pains" and I spent several nights feeling sorry for him.  One day I suggested that an ice bag in the lap might be helpful.  I got a dirty look.  See why communication is so important?

Good Morning!

Greetings!

Well after day one of blogging, I was up all night trying to come up with a cool name for the blog.  After careful consideration, and many hours of painful inner reflection, I have decided on Matt's Blog-O-Mania.  I think it pretty much says it all.

I'm going to get all hopped up on the caffeine and then I'll begin commenting on the events of the day.  I'm steamed about the Billings Outlaws deal, but I don't want to blog angry...at least for now.